![]() When you jump in and try to make her see it your way, it really isn’t helpful. Don’t try in the moment to get your child to see it your way because you don’t want her to be mad at you. If she’s disappointed about something and you try to reason her out of it, it’s probably only going to make things more heated. Don’t try to reason with an angry childĪvoid trying to hold a rational conversation with your angry child it’s not going to work. ![]() Accept that it goes along with the territory that sometimes they’re going to be angry with you-and that’s okay. Don’t expect your child to always be happy with you or like you or your decisions. Just because your child is angry doesn’t mean it has to turn into an unrecoverable situation. Kids have notoriously low frustration tolerances. In actuality, it’s not anger that’s the problem, it’s the resulting behavior. Understand that it’s normal for kids to get angry. Getting mad at your child for being mad will only escalate the situation. You can’t in any way control the way your child feels about things-all you can do is give him consequences and hold him accountable for his behavior. You can say, “I understand you feel angry I’m sorry you feel that way.” Then leave it alone until he’s cooled off. If it turns into a temper tantrum where he’s saying foul things, breaking objects or hurting others, then that’s when you want to address the behavior. If your child can’t be respectful in explaining his viewpoint, then you’ll need to leave him alone until he calms down. When parents tell us they’re upset with their child for being angry, we say, “Is it not okay for him to ever just be disappointed and unhappy and mad? Because everyone feels that way sometimes.” Remember that people can be justifiably disappointed and may present that in an angry way. There may be some justification for his anger, even if the behavior is not justified. Your child may not be wrong for feeling upset. Don’t jump to conclusions about your child’s anger (Easier said than done, we know!) When you’re upset, your job is to show him good ways to deal with the emotions at hand. None of this is going to happen overnight.” Part of our job as parents is to model how to handle emotions appropriately. I’m not going to get off track.” You might also remind yourself, “One step at a time. Use some phrases to remind yourself, “I’m going to respond to this logically instead of emotionally. Take a time-out if you need one (and if your child is old enough for you to leave the area). Walk away, take some deep breaths, and try your best to stay objective and in control. When your child is angry, rather than reacting out of emotion, which will escalate things, do whatever you need to do to step out of the situation. After all, if you saw an angry stranger in a store, you wouldn’t go up to him and start yelling or rationalizing, would you? You’d probably leave the area as soon as possible! 2. But if nobody’s getting hurt and it’s not a life-threatening situation or safety issue, it’s better to back off and give them some distance. We often feel like we have to stand right there and handle the meltdown with our kids. And if you try to say something to them in the middle of it, you’re just going to fan the flames. How close do you really want to get to that? By getting in there with your child, you will likely only further ignite their anger. They are in fight or flight mode, about to blow up. The adrenaline is pumping and all rationale has left the body. You have to remember that kids with explosive anger are out of control.
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